Adam Abramson

A man in Maryland was arrested for selling marijuana out of an ice cream truck. It was a little obvious when 35 “kids” with dreads were lined up waiting.

Today, Mitt Romney said he will begin his search for a running mate “pretty soon.” Well we know it won’t be Rick Santorum. No way that guy will ever call another man a “mate.”

Pizza Hut has released a new pizza that has a crust stuffed with a hot dog for those customers who feel that a single bypass surgery just isn’t enough.

Yes, it’s been a while. But, I’m back.

Police in Alabama discovered a meth lab inside the women’s restroom at a Walmart. Finally, something in that store not made in China.

A company in Japan unveiled a new robot that can make over three thousand pieces of sushi in one hour. Impressive, but can they make a robot that tells you perfect amount of wasabi to put in the soy sauce?

Best Buy CEO Brian Dunn announced that he is resigning. Instead of putting in his two weeks notice, he just beat up the Geek Squad.

There’s a new iPhone app that claims to predict the exact minute when it will start raining. It’s called “What weather men should be able to do.”

In a new interview, New Jersey Governor Chris Christie said he has advised Mitt Romney to be “edgier and bolder.” Shouldn’t he have said “Just act like you’re from New Jersey?”

Doctors in the UK say that a pen still works, after sitting in a woman’s stomach for 25 years. I bet she feels bad for blaming her coworker for stealing it all this time.

Yesterday, a choir of TSA agents sang for holiday travelers. I’m not sure a choir makes groping any more pleasant.

A medical marijuana clinic is going out of business, and giving away free weed to its customers. Now is the perfect time to open a Taco Bell next door.